that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
