This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
