goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She said her name was "party"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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