hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
