Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
