I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
