508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
