you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
