Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
