You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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