dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
