doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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