yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
