And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
