So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
