im about as happy as oj after his trial
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
