The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
