They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
