there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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