So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
