Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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