do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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