he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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