Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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