I CAN MOONWALK!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
