Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
