We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We named our party play list daddy issues
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
