That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
