The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
