so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
