I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
