There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
