she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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