My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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