am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
