Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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