She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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