He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
