best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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