remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
