I need help removing her.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
