3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
