My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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