Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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