I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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