Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
