Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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