im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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