I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
