so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
